Wednesday, January 14, 2004
What (NOT) To Bring To The Hospital
(And how I learned)
At 36 weeks, I saw my doctor around noon, reviewed my birth plan, then headed back to my office for the remainder of the workday.
All was fine, and my big plan for that night was to pack my hospital bag. I felt yucky by late afternoon, so I left work about an hour early. A mere 45 minutes later, with a couple of strong contractions, my water broke a short distance from home. Boy, was I glad I’d left the office! (Lesson #1: listen to your body.)
I made it home, called the doctor, and got ready to go. But wait! I wasn't at all ready; my bag wasn't packed! (Lesson #2: pack your bag at least a month ahead.) So, into the bag went everything but the kitchen sink. Operating under the delusion that heavy labor wouldn't start right away, I brought lots of things to do. And operating with more than a modicum of indecision, I brought multiple outfits for me and for baby, nursing clothes (why? don't need those for the first few days!), several things to read, and a pile of unwritten thank you notes! And into the car went my giant exercise ball, a couple of my own pillows, and a portable sound system. Yes, I was delusional at the time. But now I know better, and here's what I suggest a sane woman bring to the hospital.
FOR MOTHER, BRING:
1. Your birth plan. Your doctor should already have a copy of this (keep it simple), and you should have gone over it together, but you never know who will actually deliver your baby, so bring another signed copy. You may not be in any condition for serious thinking or conversation at that point, so put it in writing ahead of time!
2. A comfortable robe and shower shoes. You may want these if you're moving around while you're in labor, and you'll definitely want them for trips out of your hospital room afterwards, like to the nursery for their newborn care class. Make sure both are very washable, though, since childbirth is a very messy business.
3. Don't bother with nursing pajamas. Wear the hospital gowns, two at a time, after baby is born. You may go through lots of them during your stay. The aftermath of childbirth is also a very messy business. You'll be extremely glad someone else is doing THAT laundry. Just put on your robe for pictures, if you want. Similarly, leave your favorite pillows at home. You don't want to ruin them if you can help it.
4. Your favorite lip balm. Hospitals are very dry. You've seen the television and film portrayals of childbirth: a beautiful, glistening, goddess grits her teeth, and, after a few dramatic pushes, brings her perfect child into the world. It isn't anything like that. (Okay, there are a lucky few who get through it like that, but if you're one of them, I don't want to hear about it.) Childbirth can be - or seem like - an awfully long process. And all that puffing and panting and screaming and crying and, well, leaking, is very dehydrating. Have a sip of water or Gatorade every so often; have an ice chip or two. And, for goodness sake, use your lip balm! You'll thank me for it! Really!
5. A mindless book or magazine, a notepad and pen, your health insurance info, a phone list, and a phone card (and/or cell phone w/ charger!). You may want some of these items while in labor - if you're one of those strange people who doesn't think contractions are painful, or one of the lucky ones with an early epidural. More likely, you'll want them during your recovery time. Something to read if you're left alone too long, and something on which to make lists or take notes & phone messages. You'll want a list of phone numbers (or your PDA) so you and/or Husband can share the good news. You'll need your cell phone or phone/credit card for that. Few hospital phones will allow toll calls to be charged to them. Finally, you'll want to call your insurance company to let them know you have a baby to add onto your policy, so they can send you the appropriate forms and get their red tape ready.
6. A breastfeeding book, if you've found a good one. This is your best chance to read up - and to ask questions of the lactation consultant and nurses.
7. A good razor and a nail file. Let's face it, you haven't even seen your toes in months, and have had very little visual contact with your legs. Take advantage of the shower seat before you leave the hospital to shave your legs. It's about as comfortable as you're going to get at this point, so go for it. You'll feel much better. Bring a favorite mild shower gel and/or lotion as well; something pleasant and familiar is welcome. This is also a good opportunity to file down your nails. Mine grow exceptionally long during pregnancy, which can be extremely dangerous to that tiny newborn during diaper changes. File them short while you’re lounging in the hospital bed; you won’t have time for it when you get home.
8. Empty duffel or tote bags. You're going to leave the hospital with so many goodie bags, formula and diaper samples, information packets, and coupons, you'll need something to put them in. Accept any and all freebies you are offered (this includes the hospital diapers, maxi pads, and delightful disposable mesh panties - no, I'm not kidding), because I can guarantee that you will be glad to have them! Since you're not going to want to carry even more things with you when you leave the hospital, ask Husband to bring any flower arrangements and/or balloons home with him the night before you are released. Just imagine yourselves with 1) water-filled vases of fragrant lilies and thorny roses, 2) a plethora of tangled, bobbing helium balloons, and 3) your delicate new baby in an utterly bulky and complicated new car seat - all together in one vehicle - and you'll understand why.
9. A maternity outfit and comfortable shoes to wear home. Don't even think about something with a normal waistband; it will only depress you, and possibly cause even more discomfort. Sitting itself will be uncomfortable for you, and you'll probably be wearing those stylish disposable mesh panties, so a dress is the most convenient way to go.
10. A good bra (or two in different sizes) is a good idea. You may not want ANYTHING near your breasts at that point, depending on how sensitive they are, but you will want something supportive for the drive home.
NOTE: Of course, these are items that should supplement your everyday needs: any prescription medications, prenatal vitamins, contact lenses/glasses, favorite facial and hair care products, basic cosmetics, and anything else you simply can’t live without for a couple of days.
DON’T:
~ wear rings to the hospital, unless you hang them on a chain. I blew up like a balloon the day after birth, and couldn't pry my engagement and wedding rings off for at least a week. I’m lucky they didn’t have to be cut off my finger.
FOR BABY, BRING:
1. Newborn mittens and booties. My son was born with the longest fingernails and toenails I could've imagined! And he always managed to squirm his little arms out of the blankets he was wrapped into like a spring roll, scratching himself all over the face. The toenails can be just as dangerous. You are NOT going to want to try filing or cutting them yet, even when she or he is asleep, so bring the mittens!
2. An easy outfit with a hat to wear home. No waistband to irritate the umbilical cord stump. Something that will show up well in the hospital picture (bright?). And something that won't be too complicated for you to manipulate him or her into.
3. A receiving blanket to cover your baby carrier/carseat. Baby won't be able to regulate temperature yet, so will probably need a blanket, even indoors.
4. A small diaper bag, with a couple of diapers, wipe cloths, and a spare blanket. If you're going directly home, you shouldn't need any more than that. And you probably won't even need that, but better safe than sorry!
5. A pacifier, but only if there's one particular kind you really want to use. Otherwise, the hospital has them. And most babies don't need them anyway.
6. A camera, with extra film. This is for baby, not for you, since you’re most likely not going to want people snapping your picture at this time. But you might not mind being behind the camera, especially to capture the expressions of some of your visitors when they hold your little bundle for the first time.
HAVE THESE WAITING AT HOME:
1. Super maxi pads. Superthins just don't cut it. Go for the big boys. You can't have too many of these... Enough said.
2. Motrin. This is the one pain reliever that only shows up in trace amounts in breast milk. So, after baby is born, out with the Tylenol, and in with the Motrin!
3. Absorbent nursing pads. I liked the Gerber ones. They're thin, comfortable and disposable. After things settle down a little bit, you can switch to the thinner ones, but go for absorbency at first.
4. Lanolin nipple ointment. It's very soothing. (I got a tube of Lansinoh brand - a La Leche League favorite - in the hospital, and didn't need to use it forever, but it's particularly welcome at the beginning.)
5. Newborn diapers (about one week's worth). 12 changes per day x 7 days = 84, give or take a few. The size 1s are much less expensive, and come in bigger packages, so switch to those as soon as possible (i.e., as soon as the cord falls off).
6. One dozen dark colored wash cloths. During the first week or so, baby is cleaning out his or her entire system. This, like childbirth, is a very messy business. Baby wipes may be too tough on baby's delicate skin, so a washcloth with warm water is a much kinder, gentler choice for cleaning up baby. Since meconium will stain quite thoroughly, your best bet is to pick up a dozen inexpensive dark colored cloths that will not show the stains. Just wash and reuse until you get past this stage, and then you can throw them all out.
7. Talc free baby powder. Yes, research shows that the talcum powder our parents used on us could have caused us all kinds of breathing problems. Yes, we all seem to have survived it, but look for the talc free anyway.
8. Alcohol swabs. Handy for cleaning the cord area. Much more practical than the two-handed juggling act of cotton balls and a bottle of alcohol.
9. Dye and fragrance free laundry detergent. Dreft is great, but unnecessary for most babies. "All Free & Clear" is a good one. And the All can handle everyone's laundry.
10. A sympathetic friend or relative. This person should be kind enough to run out to pick up anything you might have forgotten, competent enough to hold the baby for a minute or make you lunch, and understanding enough to know when to leave.
At 36 weeks, I saw my doctor around noon, reviewed my birth plan, then headed back to my office for the remainder of the workday.
All was fine, and my big plan for that night was to pack my hospital bag. I felt yucky by late afternoon, so I left work about an hour early. A mere 45 minutes later, with a couple of strong contractions, my water broke a short distance from home. Boy, was I glad I’d left the office! (Lesson #1: listen to your body.)
I made it home, called the doctor, and got ready to go. But wait! I wasn't at all ready; my bag wasn't packed! (Lesson #2: pack your bag at least a month ahead.) So, into the bag went everything but the kitchen sink. Operating under the delusion that heavy labor wouldn't start right away, I brought lots of things to do. And operating with more than a modicum of indecision, I brought multiple outfits for me and for baby, nursing clothes (why? don't need those for the first few days!), several things to read, and a pile of unwritten thank you notes! And into the car went my giant exercise ball, a couple of my own pillows, and a portable sound system. Yes, I was delusional at the time. But now I know better, and here's what I suggest a sane woman bring to the hospital.
FOR MOTHER, BRING:
1. Your birth plan. Your doctor should already have a copy of this (keep it simple), and you should have gone over it together, but you never know who will actually deliver your baby, so bring another signed copy. You may not be in any condition for serious thinking or conversation at that point, so put it in writing ahead of time!
2. A comfortable robe and shower shoes. You may want these if you're moving around while you're in labor, and you'll definitely want them for trips out of your hospital room afterwards, like to the nursery for their newborn care class. Make sure both are very washable, though, since childbirth is a very messy business.
3. Don't bother with nursing pajamas. Wear the hospital gowns, two at a time, after baby is born. You may go through lots of them during your stay. The aftermath of childbirth is also a very messy business. You'll be extremely glad someone else is doing THAT laundry. Just put on your robe for pictures, if you want. Similarly, leave your favorite pillows at home. You don't want to ruin them if you can help it.
4. Your favorite lip balm. Hospitals are very dry. You've seen the television and film portrayals of childbirth: a beautiful, glistening, goddess grits her teeth, and, after a few dramatic pushes, brings her perfect child into the world. It isn't anything like that. (Okay, there are a lucky few who get through it like that, but if you're one of them, I don't want to hear about it.) Childbirth can be - or seem like - an awfully long process. And all that puffing and panting and screaming and crying and, well, leaking, is very dehydrating. Have a sip of water or Gatorade every so often; have an ice chip or two. And, for goodness sake, use your lip balm! You'll thank me for it! Really!
5. A mindless book or magazine, a notepad and pen, your health insurance info, a phone list, and a phone card (and/or cell phone w/ charger!). You may want some of these items while in labor - if you're one of those strange people who doesn't think contractions are painful, or one of the lucky ones with an early epidural. More likely, you'll want them during your recovery time. Something to read if you're left alone too long, and something on which to make lists or take notes & phone messages. You'll want a list of phone numbers (or your PDA) so you and/or Husband can share the good news. You'll need your cell phone or phone/credit card for that. Few hospital phones will allow toll calls to be charged to them. Finally, you'll want to call your insurance company to let them know you have a baby to add onto your policy, so they can send you the appropriate forms and get their red tape ready.
6. A breastfeeding book, if you've found a good one. This is your best chance to read up - and to ask questions of the lactation consultant and nurses.
7. A good razor and a nail file. Let's face it, you haven't even seen your toes in months, and have had very little visual contact with your legs. Take advantage of the shower seat before you leave the hospital to shave your legs. It's about as comfortable as you're going to get at this point, so go for it. You'll feel much better. Bring a favorite mild shower gel and/or lotion as well; something pleasant and familiar is welcome. This is also a good opportunity to file down your nails. Mine grow exceptionally long during pregnancy, which can be extremely dangerous to that tiny newborn during diaper changes. File them short while you’re lounging in the hospital bed; you won’t have time for it when you get home.
8. Empty duffel or tote bags. You're going to leave the hospital with so many goodie bags, formula and diaper samples, information packets, and coupons, you'll need something to put them in. Accept any and all freebies you are offered (this includes the hospital diapers, maxi pads, and delightful disposable mesh panties - no, I'm not kidding), because I can guarantee that you will be glad to have them! Since you're not going to want to carry even more things with you when you leave the hospital, ask Husband to bring any flower arrangements and/or balloons home with him the night before you are released. Just imagine yourselves with 1) water-filled vases of fragrant lilies and thorny roses, 2) a plethora of tangled, bobbing helium balloons, and 3) your delicate new baby in an utterly bulky and complicated new car seat - all together in one vehicle - and you'll understand why.
9. A maternity outfit and comfortable shoes to wear home. Don't even think about something with a normal waistband; it will only depress you, and possibly cause even more discomfort. Sitting itself will be uncomfortable for you, and you'll probably be wearing those stylish disposable mesh panties, so a dress is the most convenient way to go.
10. A good bra (or two in different sizes) is a good idea. You may not want ANYTHING near your breasts at that point, depending on how sensitive they are, but you will want something supportive for the drive home.
NOTE: Of course, these are items that should supplement your everyday needs: any prescription medications, prenatal vitamins, contact lenses/glasses, favorite facial and hair care products, basic cosmetics, and anything else you simply can’t live without for a couple of days.
DON’T:
~ wear rings to the hospital, unless you hang them on a chain. I blew up like a balloon the day after birth, and couldn't pry my engagement and wedding rings off for at least a week. I’m lucky they didn’t have to be cut off my finger.
FOR BABY, BRING:
1. Newborn mittens and booties. My son was born with the longest fingernails and toenails I could've imagined! And he always managed to squirm his little arms out of the blankets he was wrapped into like a spring roll, scratching himself all over the face. The toenails can be just as dangerous. You are NOT going to want to try filing or cutting them yet, even when she or he is asleep, so bring the mittens!
2. An easy outfit with a hat to wear home. No waistband to irritate the umbilical cord stump. Something that will show up well in the hospital picture (bright?). And something that won't be too complicated for you to manipulate him or her into.
3. A receiving blanket to cover your baby carrier/carseat. Baby won't be able to regulate temperature yet, so will probably need a blanket, even indoors.
4. A small diaper bag, with a couple of diapers, wipe cloths, and a spare blanket. If you're going directly home, you shouldn't need any more than that. And you probably won't even need that, but better safe than sorry!
5. A pacifier, but only if there's one particular kind you really want to use. Otherwise, the hospital has them. And most babies don't need them anyway.
6. A camera, with extra film. This is for baby, not for you, since you’re most likely not going to want people snapping your picture at this time. But you might not mind being behind the camera, especially to capture the expressions of some of your visitors when they hold your little bundle for the first time.
HAVE THESE WAITING AT HOME:
1. Super maxi pads. Superthins just don't cut it. Go for the big boys. You can't have too many of these... Enough said.
2. Motrin. This is the one pain reliever that only shows up in trace amounts in breast milk. So, after baby is born, out with the Tylenol, and in with the Motrin!
3. Absorbent nursing pads. I liked the Gerber ones. They're thin, comfortable and disposable. After things settle down a little bit, you can switch to the thinner ones, but go for absorbency at first.
4. Lanolin nipple ointment. It's very soothing. (I got a tube of Lansinoh brand - a La Leche League favorite - in the hospital, and didn't need to use it forever, but it's particularly welcome at the beginning.)
5. Newborn diapers (about one week's worth). 12 changes per day x 7 days = 84, give or take a few. The size 1s are much less expensive, and come in bigger packages, so switch to those as soon as possible (i.e., as soon as the cord falls off).
6. One dozen dark colored wash cloths. During the first week or so, baby is cleaning out his or her entire system. This, like childbirth, is a very messy business. Baby wipes may be too tough on baby's delicate skin, so a washcloth with warm water is a much kinder, gentler choice for cleaning up baby. Since meconium will stain quite thoroughly, your best bet is to pick up a dozen inexpensive dark colored cloths that will not show the stains. Just wash and reuse until you get past this stage, and then you can throw them all out.
7. Talc free baby powder. Yes, research shows that the talcum powder our parents used on us could have caused us all kinds of breathing problems. Yes, we all seem to have survived it, but look for the talc free anyway.
8. Alcohol swabs. Handy for cleaning the cord area. Much more practical than the two-handed juggling act of cotton balls and a bottle of alcohol.
9. Dye and fragrance free laundry detergent. Dreft is great, but unnecessary for most babies. "All Free & Clear" is a good one. And the All can handle everyone's laundry.
10. A sympathetic friend or relative. This person should be kind enough to run out to pick up anything you might have forgotten, competent enough to hold the baby for a minute or make you lunch, and understanding enough to know when to leave.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Baby Clothes
(Or Who knew?)
These are things that we learned in the summer of 2000, when we had to put some adorable - but inconvenient - baby outfits to use. You may or may not agree with some of our conclusions. However, you might be interested in some of the things we learned. These thoughts are geared toward warm weather babies, since that was our season, but I think most are generally applicable. Here goes!
GENERAL RULES - TOP 10
1. Newborn baby gowns are a godsend. Especially during the first few weeks, when a) you're not yet as adept at changing the baby's diaper, b) you're doing it about 12 times a day, and c) your baby will probably wail the entire time you're doing it, gowns present the quickest and easiest access. The other benefit with a gown is that it will be loose against the umbilical cord stump (until it falls off after a week or so) and the tender spot that remains, unlike onesies and other outfits. Of course, you can't use gowns with a car seat, but since you're not likely to be particularly interested in leaving the house, they're the most practical option. Even snap crotches (see #2, below) do not compare, since someone (read "Husband") is bound to mis-match the snaps during a 3 a.m. diaper change, causing all three of you prolonged agony while he tries again.
2. If other clothing doesn't have a snap crotch, you're not going to want to use it. Ever. If you do, then every time you pick up baby, the clothes will ride up and congregate just under baby's armpits. This snap crotch rule includes those items that do have a snap crotch, but, for some reason or another, do not unsnap at the ankles. This is just about the worst scam going, since you need to deal with all the inseam snaps, but still must maneuver a cuff over those tiny feet. Why would anyone think this is a good idea? I don't think we (or even our most willing babysitters) had the patience to use "regular" pull-on pants until around the one year point, when baby could cooperate a little AND the diaper changes were significantly less frequent.
3. If it snaps (or worse, BUTTONS) up the back, you're going to hate it. Newborns (and up until at least 6 or 9 months) cannot participate at all in the process of dressing and undressing. In fact, most of them hate it, and will LOUDLY voice that opinion every time you remove an article of clothing or a diaper. They're extremely floppy little creatures, too, so those of us with only two hands find that it's impossible to flip a baby onto its stomach like a flapjack - for the inane purpose of struggling with snaps or the more sinister buttons - without feeling like you're suffocating it. They can't hold up their heads!
4. Look for one piece outfits. You will find outfits that require dressing the baby in multiple pieces extremely aggravating early on. Sure, they're soooo cute, but they shouldn't even be manufactured for the 0-3 month set. Unless you need an outfit for a special occasion, like a wedding (and who expects a child that age to wear a tuxedo or gown?), go with a one piece. Just add an undershirt or a sweater if warranted by weather conditions or heavy air conditioning. Besides, when baby has yet another major diaper blowout, or spits up for the third time in one afternoon, you'll prefer changing (and rinsing, and pre-treating and washing) a single piece. It's a good idea to have lots of these available.
5. Lace, ruffles, patches and other appliqués are extremely irritating to baby's skin! No matter how cute that "Grandma's Boy" sleeper, "Got Milk?" onesie, or frilly princess dress, you're not going to want to subject your newborn to a stiff patch or a generally scratchy, irritating outfit - even for a short while. You know how it feels when YOU have an itchy tag in your shirt? Well, multiply that irritation by at least ten. It's terribly alarming to find a raised red area on baby's skin - and then realize that you're the one who caused it, by putting him in that dastardly outfit. The only way to get around this is to put on an undershirt first, but this only works in some situations. (And see #4, above.)
6. Collars only look cute on the hangers. It must be a conspiracy, but the size of the clothes and the size of the child don't allow collars to fall appropriately. That means they all stand up (especially after washing), like a throwback to the preppy polo shirt craze of the '80s, or a parody of Count Dracula. Not only will you find the look absurd on a child all scrunched up in a baby carrier or carseat, but you'll probably be irritated to find the collar in the way of eating as well as breathing and drooling. It will get soaking wet if your baby's a drooler. (Also see #5, above.) The same goes for hoods in tiny sizes.
7. Babies do not need shoes. As adorable as those teensy-tiny little Reeboks and Mary Janes may be, they will only be worn once. Buckles, ribbons, and (God forbid) laces that small are difficult even for dainty adult fingers to manage. Don't even think that your husband will have the dexterity to do it! If you must buy shoes (or exchange them), look for velcro. Nerdy? Yes, but baby doesn't know that yet. Convenience counts. After baby starts walking, that’s the time to look for real shoes!
8. Babies do not need raincoats, windbreakers, leather jackets, jean jackets and capes. They don't have the faintest idea why you're stuffing them into such stiff, uncomfortable unnecessary clothing. It's not as if they're going to sit out in the rain! If it's really cold, then a one piece bunting (with either legs or a car seat strap slot) is all you'll need. If it's not that frigid out, just cover the baby carrier or stroller with a blanket when you go out.
9. For sizes 9 months and up (if you buy ahead, like me), forget about the pastels. Sure, these colors look adorable on babies, but as soon as they start to crawl (and roll around on your floors), you'll regret ever having discovered them. Instead, look for brights and darks. These colors will help disguise the squalor that your house has become. This is particularly true about socks. White socks = dirty floors. Dark socks = clean floors.
10. Do NOT remove size tags! All baby and toddler clothes come with these tags for a reason. It may seem like you're doing baby a favor by ridding yourselves of those annoying little tags, but you're actually doing yourself a considerable disservice. First, you won't know what size baby has grown out of in that particular brand, and what you need to buy next. Second, you won't be able to re-use clothes without making a considerable effort in determining their size, either in packing them away or unpacking them later. And third, you won't be able - in good conscience - to consign/lend/give those clothes to friends or charity. Remember, size does matter!
Personal Preferences
As far as brands go, the Baby Gap and Gymboree clothes are the most widely available lines that I like. (Old Navy and the Children’s Place stuff doesn't hold up as well.) The clothes are quite true to size (age-wise), and they hold their color AND shape through washings and wear. They're also very basic, which is my preference over clothes covered in commercial cartoon characters and cutesy animal prints. Check out their on-line sale and clearance sections. Things are added and marked down almost every week.
Little Me, Vitamins and Carters all had some redeeming characteristics, but they just weren't my favorites, for one reason or another. FWIW, I loved the Carters towels and washcloths, though, since they held up much better than other brands. For warmer, bigger, fuzzy sleeping gowns - loved these zippered "bags" - and footie sleepers, the Carters line was very affordable and warm. Land’s End and Hanna Anderson also make great sleepers and long johns.
For newborn gowns and the like, I LOVE the Kushies brand. It's not widely available, but many websites carry a few of their items. They make mostly diaper covers and such, but also produce a few gowns and long johns. It's a very dense cotton, which holds up extremely well.
Similarly, for very high quality cotton clothes, Hanna Anderson has a wonderful collection in their catalog and on-line. The clothes fit extremely well, and do hold their color and shape, just as promised. They also have some great sale prices on their website.
The Zutano line has a cute selection of fleece-ish "sherpa" items. These were wonderfully cozy for the colder weather, though I found the rest of the Zutano clothes ran small.
For pre-shoe foot coverings, socks are fine. When more is needed because of colder weather or the wear and tear of crawling and standing, or because junior keeps pulling those socks off, check out Robeez (www.robeez.com). They're a fabulous washable leather slipper-shoe with a non-slip bottom, and they come in many cute designs. They're extremely easy for adults to put on and take off, but they won't slip off on their own.
Finally
Now that you've read through my advice, it's up to you to figure out what you want to buy, and what to do about all those well-intentioned gifts you're bound to receive. If it's really important that someone get see your child in a certain outfit, put it on him or her briefly and take a picture. Then send it to the giver as soon as possible. Or put the outfit on the baby for that person's visit or a special occasion. But be sure to keep a second, more comfortable and convenient outfit at hand as soon as a diaper change is warranted. After all, babies often mess up their clothes and require a change. Otherwise, try to exchange things you don't like, want or need. It's a shame to waste them.
Along those lines, if you do buy some things yourself before baby's arrival, don't take all the store tags off. Keep your receipts together. No matter how organized you like to be, don't wash everything ahead of time. Have a few things washed and ready, but remember: you could wind up with a monster baby (God forbid) or a preemie. With either extreme, your sizes and seasons could be off completely, so you need to have the option of many happy returns.
Finally, for baby gift giving, don't feel insulted if you don't know what works for one person over another. Everyone has their own personal preferences. Get a gift receipt when buying a baby gift, and include it in the package. And try not to buy newborn or 0-3 month sized clothes, unless it’s a sweater, socks or hat. New moms get tons of these, and baby grows out of them extremely fast.
Happy shopping!
These are things that we learned in the summer of 2000, when we had to put some adorable - but inconvenient - baby outfits to use. You may or may not agree with some of our conclusions. However, you might be interested in some of the things we learned. These thoughts are geared toward warm weather babies, since that was our season, but I think most are generally applicable. Here goes!
GENERAL RULES - TOP 10
1. Newborn baby gowns are a godsend. Especially during the first few weeks, when a) you're not yet as adept at changing the baby's diaper, b) you're doing it about 12 times a day, and c) your baby will probably wail the entire time you're doing it, gowns present the quickest and easiest access. The other benefit with a gown is that it will be loose against the umbilical cord stump (until it falls off after a week or so) and the tender spot that remains, unlike onesies and other outfits. Of course, you can't use gowns with a car seat, but since you're not likely to be particularly interested in leaving the house, they're the most practical option. Even snap crotches (see #2, below) do not compare, since someone (read "Husband") is bound to mis-match the snaps during a 3 a.m. diaper change, causing all three of you prolonged agony while he tries again.
2. If other clothing doesn't have a snap crotch, you're not going to want to use it. Ever. If you do, then every time you pick up baby, the clothes will ride up and congregate just under baby's armpits. This snap crotch rule includes those items that do have a snap crotch, but, for some reason or another, do not unsnap at the ankles. This is just about the worst scam going, since you need to deal with all the inseam snaps, but still must maneuver a cuff over those tiny feet. Why would anyone think this is a good idea? I don't think we (or even our most willing babysitters) had the patience to use "regular" pull-on pants until around the one year point, when baby could cooperate a little AND the diaper changes were significantly less frequent.
3. If it snaps (or worse, BUTTONS) up the back, you're going to hate it. Newborns (and up until at least 6 or 9 months) cannot participate at all in the process of dressing and undressing. In fact, most of them hate it, and will LOUDLY voice that opinion every time you remove an article of clothing or a diaper. They're extremely floppy little creatures, too, so those of us with only two hands find that it's impossible to flip a baby onto its stomach like a flapjack - for the inane purpose of struggling with snaps or the more sinister buttons - without feeling like you're suffocating it. They can't hold up their heads!
4. Look for one piece outfits. You will find outfits that require dressing the baby in multiple pieces extremely aggravating early on. Sure, they're soooo cute, but they shouldn't even be manufactured for the 0-3 month set. Unless you need an outfit for a special occasion, like a wedding (and who expects a child that age to wear a tuxedo or gown?), go with a one piece. Just add an undershirt or a sweater if warranted by weather conditions or heavy air conditioning. Besides, when baby has yet another major diaper blowout, or spits up for the third time in one afternoon, you'll prefer changing (and rinsing, and pre-treating and washing) a single piece. It's a good idea to have lots of these available.
5. Lace, ruffles, patches and other appliqués are extremely irritating to baby's skin! No matter how cute that "Grandma's Boy" sleeper, "Got Milk?" onesie, or frilly princess dress, you're not going to want to subject your newborn to a stiff patch or a generally scratchy, irritating outfit - even for a short while. You know how it feels when YOU have an itchy tag in your shirt? Well, multiply that irritation by at least ten. It's terribly alarming to find a raised red area on baby's skin - and then realize that you're the one who caused it, by putting him in that dastardly outfit. The only way to get around this is to put on an undershirt first, but this only works in some situations. (And see #4, above.)
6. Collars only look cute on the hangers. It must be a conspiracy, but the size of the clothes and the size of the child don't allow collars to fall appropriately. That means they all stand up (especially after washing), like a throwback to the preppy polo shirt craze of the '80s, or a parody of Count Dracula. Not only will you find the look absurd on a child all scrunched up in a baby carrier or carseat, but you'll probably be irritated to find the collar in the way of eating as well as breathing and drooling. It will get soaking wet if your baby's a drooler. (Also see #5, above.) The same goes for hoods in tiny sizes.
7. Babies do not need shoes. As adorable as those teensy-tiny little Reeboks and Mary Janes may be, they will only be worn once. Buckles, ribbons, and (God forbid) laces that small are difficult even for dainty adult fingers to manage. Don't even think that your husband will have the dexterity to do it! If you must buy shoes (or exchange them), look for velcro. Nerdy? Yes, but baby doesn't know that yet. Convenience counts. After baby starts walking, that’s the time to look for real shoes!
8. Babies do not need raincoats, windbreakers, leather jackets, jean jackets and capes. They don't have the faintest idea why you're stuffing them into such stiff, uncomfortable unnecessary clothing. It's not as if they're going to sit out in the rain! If it's really cold, then a one piece bunting (with either legs or a car seat strap slot) is all you'll need. If it's not that frigid out, just cover the baby carrier or stroller with a blanket when you go out.
9. For sizes 9 months and up (if you buy ahead, like me), forget about the pastels. Sure, these colors look adorable on babies, but as soon as they start to crawl (and roll around on your floors), you'll regret ever having discovered them. Instead, look for brights and darks. These colors will help disguise the squalor that your house has become. This is particularly true about socks. White socks = dirty floors. Dark socks = clean floors.
10. Do NOT remove size tags! All baby and toddler clothes come with these tags for a reason. It may seem like you're doing baby a favor by ridding yourselves of those annoying little tags, but you're actually doing yourself a considerable disservice. First, you won't know what size baby has grown out of in that particular brand, and what you need to buy next. Second, you won't be able to re-use clothes without making a considerable effort in determining their size, either in packing them away or unpacking them later. And third, you won't be able - in good conscience - to consign/lend/give those clothes to friends or charity. Remember, size does matter!
Personal Preferences
As far as brands go, the Baby Gap and Gymboree clothes are the most widely available lines that I like. (Old Navy and the Children’s Place stuff doesn't hold up as well.) The clothes are quite true to size (age-wise), and they hold their color AND shape through washings and wear. They're also very basic, which is my preference over clothes covered in commercial cartoon characters and cutesy animal prints. Check out their on-line sale and clearance sections. Things are added and marked down almost every week.
Little Me, Vitamins and Carters all had some redeeming characteristics, but they just weren't my favorites, for one reason or another. FWIW, I loved the Carters towels and washcloths, though, since they held up much better than other brands. For warmer, bigger, fuzzy sleeping gowns - loved these zippered "bags" - and footie sleepers, the Carters line was very affordable and warm. Land’s End and Hanna Anderson also make great sleepers and long johns.
For newborn gowns and the like, I LOVE the Kushies brand. It's not widely available, but many websites carry a few of their items. They make mostly diaper covers and such, but also produce a few gowns and long johns. It's a very dense cotton, which holds up extremely well.
Similarly, for very high quality cotton clothes, Hanna Anderson has a wonderful collection in their catalog and on-line. The clothes fit extremely well, and do hold their color and shape, just as promised. They also have some great sale prices on their website.
The Zutano line has a cute selection of fleece-ish "sherpa" items. These were wonderfully cozy for the colder weather, though I found the rest of the Zutano clothes ran small.
For pre-shoe foot coverings, socks are fine. When more is needed because of colder weather or the wear and tear of crawling and standing, or because junior keeps pulling those socks off, check out Robeez (www.robeez.com). They're a fabulous washable leather slipper-shoe with a non-slip bottom, and they come in many cute designs. They're extremely easy for adults to put on and take off, but they won't slip off on their own.
Finally
Now that you've read through my advice, it's up to you to figure out what you want to buy, and what to do about all those well-intentioned gifts you're bound to receive. If it's really important that someone get see your child in a certain outfit, put it on him or her briefly and take a picture. Then send it to the giver as soon as possible. Or put the outfit on the baby for that person's visit or a special occasion. But be sure to keep a second, more comfortable and convenient outfit at hand as soon as a diaper change is warranted. After all, babies often mess up their clothes and require a change. Otherwise, try to exchange things you don't like, want or need. It's a shame to waste them.
Along those lines, if you do buy some things yourself before baby's arrival, don't take all the store tags off. Keep your receipts together. No matter how organized you like to be, don't wash everything ahead of time. Have a few things washed and ready, but remember: you could wind up with a monster baby (God forbid) or a preemie. With either extreme, your sizes and seasons could be off completely, so you need to have the option of many happy returns.
Finally, for baby gift giving, don't feel insulted if you don't know what works for one person over another. Everyone has their own personal preferences. Get a gift receipt when buying a baby gift, and include it in the package. And try not to buy newborn or 0-3 month sized clothes, unless it’s a sweater, socks or hat. New moms get tons of these, and baby grows out of them extremely fast.
Happy shopping!
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
So, You’re Having a Baby
(Or What the Heck Is Happening to Me?)
The first thing you need to know is that there is no such thing as a “due date”. Based on your last menstrual period (LMP), the doctor will calculate your Estimated Date of Delivery (EDD). From the time that EDD is determined, everything will revolve around your EDD.
If you’re thirsting for information like I was the moment I found out I was pregnant, you’ll want to check out some websites for immediate gratification. You will NOT want to wait until your first OB appointment about 8 to 10 weeks into this process to get started.
General information sites and pregnancy calendars:
www.iparenting.com
www.babycenter.com
www.parentsplace.com
www.having-a-baby.com/
www.epregnancy.com/
www.parenthoodweb.com/pregnancy.htm
www.babyzone.com
Just for fun:
www.babyzone.com/chinese.htm (gender predictor)
www.childbirth.org/articles/boyorgirl.html (gender predictor)
www.babyman.net (gender predictor)
www.pregnancycalendar.com/first9months/ (multi-media 9 months - cool)
Okay, these are totally cool, because you sign up based on your edd, and then they send you weekly updates about your symptoms & progress, what's happening with the baby, etc.:
www.parentsplace.com/pregnancy/newsletter/0,4101,1,00.html
(Sign up for the Pregnancy Newsletter.)
www.babycenter.com/register/
(Sign up for “My Baby This Week” for weekly e-updates.)
Through some sites, there are e-mail groups where you can communicate with other members due the same month as you. My June00 list had quite a vocal, varied, interesting, positive group of people on it, and I found reading the messages terrifically informative, even though I didn't contribute often. If you join, I suggest choosing to receive the individual messages (rather than the digest version) if it is your intent to participate frequently, but be sure to set up your e-mail so that they all go directly into a specific folder for you. Sometimes the volume of mail is quite overwhelming, but well worth the time, I think (especially for first-timers), and you can always delete messages based on the subject line. And consider:
http://pregnancytoday.com/interact/index.htm
(For Pregnancy Today's MomsTalk Discussion Board)
For Shopaholics:
If you can’t wait to start checking out styles, brands, and sales...
Baby gear:
www.babyuniverse.com
www.babiesrus.com
www.babyage.com
www.onestepahed.com
www.sensationalbeginnings.com
www.thebabyoutlet.com
www.therightstart.com
Clothes:
www.gymboree.com
www.gap.com
www.babystyle.com
www.landsend.com
www.hannaanderson.com
www.robeez.com
Many sites send out special offers via e-mail, like the babystyle “steal of the day,” so sign up/register with the sites if you’d like to receive that info.
The first thing you need to know is that there is no such thing as a “due date”. Based on your last menstrual period (LMP), the doctor will calculate your Estimated Date of Delivery (EDD). From the time that EDD is determined, everything will revolve around your EDD.
If you’re thirsting for information like I was the moment I found out I was pregnant, you’ll want to check out some websites for immediate gratification. You will NOT want to wait until your first OB appointment about 8 to 10 weeks into this process to get started.
General information sites and pregnancy calendars:
www.iparenting.com
www.babycenter.com
www.parentsplace.com
www.having-a-baby.com/
www.epregnancy.com/
www.parenthoodweb.com/pregnancy.htm
www.babyzone.com
Just for fun:
www.babyzone.com/chinese.htm (gender predictor)
www.childbirth.org/articles/boyorgirl.html (gender predictor)
www.babyman.net (gender predictor)
www.pregnancycalendar.com/first9months/ (multi-media 9 months - cool)
Okay, these are totally cool, because you sign up based on your edd, and then they send you weekly updates about your symptoms & progress, what's happening with the baby, etc.:
www.parentsplace.com/pregnancy/newsletter/0,4101,1,00.html
(Sign up for the Pregnancy Newsletter.)
www.babycenter.com/register/
(Sign up for “My Baby This Week” for weekly e-updates.)
Through some sites, there are e-mail groups where you can communicate with other members due the same month as you. My June00 list had quite a vocal, varied, interesting, positive group of people on it, and I found reading the messages terrifically informative, even though I didn't contribute often. If you join, I suggest choosing to receive the individual messages (rather than the digest version) if it is your intent to participate frequently, but be sure to set up your e-mail so that they all go directly into a specific folder for you. Sometimes the volume of mail is quite overwhelming, but well worth the time, I think (especially for first-timers), and you can always delete messages based on the subject line. And consider:
http://pregnancytoday.com/interact/index.htm
(For Pregnancy Today's MomsTalk Discussion Board)
For Shopaholics:
If you can’t wait to start checking out styles, brands, and sales...
Baby gear:
www.babyuniverse.com
www.babiesrus.com
www.babyage.com
www.onestepahed.com
www.sensationalbeginnings.com
www.thebabyoutlet.com
www.therightstart.com
Clothes:
www.gymboree.com
www.gap.com
www.babystyle.com
www.landsend.com
www.hannaanderson.com
www.robeez.com
Many sites send out special offers via e-mail, like the babystyle “steal of the day,” so sign up/register with the sites if you’d like to receive that info.
Reading List
(Or Read Up While You Still Have the Time!)
Depending on what you’ve read, how much you want to read, or what your preferences are, you might find these books generally helpful, useful, and/or entertaining.
Products:
Baby Bargains – by the authors of Bridal Bargains, with updated information available on their website, because we don’t all read Consumer Reports. VERY USEFUL book. Also see their website for updates.
*But be sure to read product reviews at www.babiesrus.com and/or www.babycenter.com if you’re interested in a particular product. You may find comments on issues that weren’t addressed in the book.
Pregnancy:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting (a.k.a. WTEWYE) – has sort of become a pregnancy Bible, but can be bit militant about some things, like your diet, for example. Still, a very useful resource. It organizes your pregnancy by month, so the info can cover a relatively long period of development, but it conveys pertinent information in each chapter, including baby’s development, and symptoms to watch out for.
Your Pregnancy Week by Week – a little more narrow than WTEWYE, in terms of the timeframe addressed. Especially of interest during first pregnancies, when you are fascinated by each and every minute detail of your baby’s development.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy: Or Everything Your Doctor Won’t Tell You – a witty and humorous look at the ups and downs of pregnancy through the eyes of a four time mom. Okay, so she was once a lawyer, and posed for Playboy at some point, but she makes lots of good points, punctuated by examples from her own life, and the lives of her Girlfriends. It makes you realize that you are probably not crazy, and that you will most likely survive the roller coaster ride that is pregnancy. I found it just as funny the second time around. This, her first and probably best book, is a MUST READ.
Labor/Childbirth:
Active Birth – a good overview of birthing techniques, positions, and a play-by-play description of what your body is doing, what the baby is doing, etc. A good general book if you’re not planning to adhere to either the Bradley or Lamaze method, but want to keep your options open.
The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth – a good book for your birth partner, if s/he is willing to actualy read it. An overview of everything you’re going through, and suggestions on how s/he may help you. But most intelligent and halfway interested people could probably cull that information from one of the other books out there.
Breastfeeding:
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding – an overall useful book, good resource for troubleshooting, with a positive “breast is best” message. Not quite La Leche League level, but close.
So That’s What They’re For – a humorous, practical, down-to-earth guide to breastfeeding. Modern, supportive, and positive, once you get past the first three chapters of “why breast milk is best”. Entertaining, as well. Check this one out!
Baby/toddler:
The Baby Book, Everything You Need to Know about Your Baby from Birth to Age Two – from the series of books by William & Martha Sears, married couple and pediatrician and nurse. Official information on different medical and developmental topics is interspersed with anecdotes from both the medical office and their own child rearing. (They also have a pregnancy book, birth book, discipline book, breastfeeding book, fussy baby book, nutrition book, Christian parenting book, attachment parenting book, sleep book, etc.) As with most of these authors, if you like their methods, then you’ll probably enjoy more than one of their books. From what I read, I identified more with the Sears methods than others. But, to each her own!
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 – this tome from the American Academy of Pediatrics is chock full of detailed information. A thorough and yet not unreadable technical medical resource. A MUST HAVE for the home library.
What to Expect in the First Year – the same organization and tone as WTEWYE, and generally considered a good resource.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to the First Year – much like the first of the series, but the first few chapters are meant to be read before going into labor.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Toddlers – ditto, except for the labor part.
Depending on what you’ve read, how much you want to read, or what your preferences are, you might find these books generally helpful, useful, and/or entertaining.
Products:
Baby Bargains – by the authors of Bridal Bargains, with updated information available on their website, because we don’t all read Consumer Reports. VERY USEFUL book. Also see their website for updates.
*But be sure to read product reviews at www.babiesrus.com and/or www.babycenter.com if you’re interested in a particular product. You may find comments on issues that weren’t addressed in the book.
Pregnancy:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting (a.k.a. WTEWYE) – has sort of become a pregnancy Bible, but can be bit militant about some things, like your diet, for example. Still, a very useful resource. It organizes your pregnancy by month, so the info can cover a relatively long period of development, but it conveys pertinent information in each chapter, including baby’s development, and symptoms to watch out for.
Your Pregnancy Week by Week – a little more narrow than WTEWYE, in terms of the timeframe addressed. Especially of interest during first pregnancies, when you are fascinated by each and every minute detail of your baby’s development.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy: Or Everything Your Doctor Won’t Tell You – a witty and humorous look at the ups and downs of pregnancy through the eyes of a four time mom. Okay, so she was once a lawyer, and posed for Playboy at some point, but she makes lots of good points, punctuated by examples from her own life, and the lives of her Girlfriends. It makes you realize that you are probably not crazy, and that you will most likely survive the roller coaster ride that is pregnancy. I found it just as funny the second time around. This, her first and probably best book, is a MUST READ.
Labor/Childbirth:
Active Birth – a good overview of birthing techniques, positions, and a play-by-play description of what your body is doing, what the baby is doing, etc. A good general book if you’re not planning to adhere to either the Bradley or Lamaze method, but want to keep your options open.
The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth – a good book for your birth partner, if s/he is willing to actualy read it. An overview of everything you’re going through, and suggestions on how s/he may help you. But most intelligent and halfway interested people could probably cull that information from one of the other books out there.
Breastfeeding:
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding – an overall useful book, good resource for troubleshooting, with a positive “breast is best” message. Not quite La Leche League level, but close.
So That’s What They’re For – a humorous, practical, down-to-earth guide to breastfeeding. Modern, supportive, and positive, once you get past the first three chapters of “why breast milk is best”. Entertaining, as well. Check this one out!
Baby/toddler:
The Baby Book, Everything You Need to Know about Your Baby from Birth to Age Two – from the series of books by William & Martha Sears, married couple and pediatrician and nurse. Official information on different medical and developmental topics is interspersed with anecdotes from both the medical office and their own child rearing. (They also have a pregnancy book, birth book, discipline book, breastfeeding book, fussy baby book, nutrition book, Christian parenting book, attachment parenting book, sleep book, etc.) As with most of these authors, if you like their methods, then you’ll probably enjoy more than one of their books. From what I read, I identified more with the Sears methods than others. But, to each her own!
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 – this tome from the American Academy of Pediatrics is chock full of detailed information. A thorough and yet not unreadable technical medical resource. A MUST HAVE for the home library.
What to Expect in the First Year – the same organization and tone as WTEWYE, and generally considered a good resource.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to the First Year – much like the first of the series, but the first few chapters are meant to be read before going into labor.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Toddlers – ditto, except for the labor part.
Maternity Clothes
(Or Oh, my God! What happened to my body!?!)
On the subject of maternity clothes, there are several different routes you can take: retail, resale, or generous, similarly sized friends. But no matter which route you choose, don’t neglect to collect some maternity clothes fairly early in your pregnancy. Some people try to “make do” with regular clothes in a size or two larger, and find that the other proportions make the garment look odd. Remember, it’s mainly your waistline that is expanding at first (though we all gain a little extra weight everywhere else), so you don’t need a broader shoulder, longer leg or lower crotch. Some people need a bigger bra, but that’s another issue. Besides, these larger sized clothes won’t fit you for long either, no matter how big they look to you now.
If this is your first baby, and you hope to have more, you CAN justify paying a bit more for these clothes, since you will wear them much more often than your regular wardrobe, and they will drive you completely crazy if they don’t fit well or look right. In just a couple of months, you will be large and lumpy, and no matter what you do, you’ll feel the effects of the emotional roller coaster they call pregnancy. If you thought getting dressed on a bad PMS day was a struggle, this is worse.
Just keep in mind that you want classic styles that will wear well. Look for some maternity basics to start with, pairing them with some of your own, more forgiving, pieces. Add to those items as you go, and don’t be afraid to shop the sale items! Depending on your needs (office attire versus stay at home duds), look for items that you know you would buy if they were non-maternity styles. If you would buy them anyway, then you know there’s a good chance you’ll actually wear them. Just remember, lycra is your friend! Maternity clothes have come a long way from the bows and polka dots our mothers had to choose from.
Thank goodness for the internet!!! To date, I have probably purchased 95% of my maternity clothes on-line. And many new websites have arrived since I first started looking at them about three years ago. Since most malls have only one maternity store, there wasn’t much of a selection, and I was unimpressed with the quality I found there. Shrinking shirts and shifting seams are pet peeves of mine! So I looked for a solution on the internet, and was amply rewarded for my efforts. Here are my picks.
Maternity clothing sites
(In my own admittedly biased categories, based on price, quality, customer service, etc.)) Bear in mind that companies come and go, so websites may change or merge. You may want to search online for new maternity lines also.
Bronze
Check them often and register with them for information on sales!
www.stylematernity.com
www.maternity.ca (thyme maternity, a Canadian company)
www.imaternity.com (the website has some items not available in stores)
www.motherhood.com
www.duetdesigns.com
www.mimimaternity.com (available at some mall stores)
Silver
Better quality, though a bit more expensive.
(I ordered from most of these, or found the brands on another site.)
www.zoeematernity.com (matching matte jersey pieces – the best!)
www.naissancematernity.com (very funky stuff)
www.mothers-in-motion.com (for you active women)
www.garnethill.com (has a maternity section – nice quality)
www.annacris.com
www.japaneseweekend.com
www.babystyle.com
www.chantelrenee.com
www.gap.com *
www.oldnavy.com *
www.landsend.com *
*Be sure to check out the maternity departments at these stores, ONLY available online. They usually offer free returns or allow you to bring returns to any of their stores. They also issue frequent coupon codes for a percentage off a minimum purchase, so look for one before ordering. Overall, the Gap quality was consistently good, and the stretch jeans from Old Navy quite comfortable. Land’s End Maternity is quite new, and I haven’t had a chance to try it.
Gold
Beautiful stuff if someone else pays for your clothes, but nothing I could rationalize for my lifestyle. (No, not even me…)
www.pumpkinmaternity.com
www.peainthepod.com
www.lizlange.com (This past spring Liz Lange designed a new maternity line for Target – all items under $25!)
There are also some mega-sites which provide links to all different stores on-line (www.maternitymall.com), but I found them too slow for my computers. :-( Also, look for the brand name stuff (like Japanese Weekend) at other company sites and consignment stores in your area – you may find the same items for slightly less money.
Shoes
Since I love shoes so much I wouldn’t even want to count how many pairs of shoes I own (some people still call me Imelda on occasion), I was extremely dismayed to learn that I couldn’t wear many of my high heeled pumps and boots while pregnant. Of course, as my posture changed, and the effects on my aching legs and back became more pronounced, I understood why I couldn’t wear them, but I was still disappointed. However, I bought two simple pairs of very low heeled shoes (brown and black) one-half size larger than usual to wear throughout the pregnancy. And I wore them every day. Since I was one of the lucky few whose feet did not permanently expand with pregnancy, I am back into my high heels now, but I suggest having at least one pair of low, comfy, larger shoes for your swollen feet.
Bras
Yes, you will need bigger bras, or you will eventually destroy your old ones as you morph into mommy. As I am not an expert in this area, I suggest that you simply go shopping at some point in the second trimester and purchase a few slightly roomier bras. They don’t need to be expensive or pretty, but should be comfortable with good support. Your rib cage will also expand, so don’t just get a bigger cup size. Don’t bother even looking at nursing bras until your last month. They’re not exceptionally comfortable, and you won’t want to wear them until you have to. Most likely, your size will change just after the baby is born and your milk comes in, so wait until then to buy more than one or two.
P.S. Nursing Clothes
For nursing clothes, you don’t really need to buy “nursing clothes.” There are some decent nursing clothes out there these days, but I still prefer a shirt or sweater I can lift up or simply unbutton from the bottom.
If you want a few pieces that you can wear in public with minimum exposure, or need a nursing outfit for a special occasion, check these out:
www.onehotmama.com (loved the quality and fit of the items I bought here)
www.motherwear.com
On the subject of maternity clothes, there are several different routes you can take: retail, resale, or generous, similarly sized friends. But no matter which route you choose, don’t neglect to collect some maternity clothes fairly early in your pregnancy. Some people try to “make do” with regular clothes in a size or two larger, and find that the other proportions make the garment look odd. Remember, it’s mainly your waistline that is expanding at first (though we all gain a little extra weight everywhere else), so you don’t need a broader shoulder, longer leg or lower crotch. Some people need a bigger bra, but that’s another issue. Besides, these larger sized clothes won’t fit you for long either, no matter how big they look to you now.
If this is your first baby, and you hope to have more, you CAN justify paying a bit more for these clothes, since you will wear them much more often than your regular wardrobe, and they will drive you completely crazy if they don’t fit well or look right. In just a couple of months, you will be large and lumpy, and no matter what you do, you’ll feel the effects of the emotional roller coaster they call pregnancy. If you thought getting dressed on a bad PMS day was a struggle, this is worse.
Just keep in mind that you want classic styles that will wear well. Look for some maternity basics to start with, pairing them with some of your own, more forgiving, pieces. Add to those items as you go, and don’t be afraid to shop the sale items! Depending on your needs (office attire versus stay at home duds), look for items that you know you would buy if they were non-maternity styles. If you would buy them anyway, then you know there’s a good chance you’ll actually wear them. Just remember, lycra is your friend! Maternity clothes have come a long way from the bows and polka dots our mothers had to choose from.
Thank goodness for the internet!!! To date, I have probably purchased 95% of my maternity clothes on-line. And many new websites have arrived since I first started looking at them about three years ago. Since most malls have only one maternity store, there wasn’t much of a selection, and I was unimpressed with the quality I found there. Shrinking shirts and shifting seams are pet peeves of mine! So I looked for a solution on the internet, and was amply rewarded for my efforts. Here are my picks.
Maternity clothing sites
(In my own admittedly biased categories, based on price, quality, customer service, etc.)) Bear in mind that companies come and go, so websites may change or merge. You may want to search online for new maternity lines also.
Bronze
Check them often and register with them for information on sales!
www.stylematernity.com
www.maternity.ca (thyme maternity, a Canadian company)
www.imaternity.com (the website has some items not available in stores)
www.motherhood.com
www.duetdesigns.com
www.mimimaternity.com (available at some mall stores)
Silver
Better quality, though a bit more expensive.
(I ordered from most of these, or found the brands on another site.)
www.zoeematernity.com (matching matte jersey pieces – the best!)
www.naissancematernity.com (very funky stuff)
www.mothers-in-motion.com (for you active women)
www.garnethill.com (has a maternity section – nice quality)
www.annacris.com
www.japaneseweekend.com
www.babystyle.com
www.chantelrenee.com
www.gap.com *
www.oldnavy.com *
www.landsend.com *
*Be sure to check out the maternity departments at these stores, ONLY available online. They usually offer free returns or allow you to bring returns to any of their stores. They also issue frequent coupon codes for a percentage off a minimum purchase, so look for one before ordering. Overall, the Gap quality was consistently good, and the stretch jeans from Old Navy quite comfortable. Land’s End Maternity is quite new, and I haven’t had a chance to try it.
Gold
Beautiful stuff if someone else pays for your clothes, but nothing I could rationalize for my lifestyle. (No, not even me…)
www.pumpkinmaternity.com
www.peainthepod.com
www.lizlange.com (This past spring Liz Lange designed a new maternity line for Target – all items under $25!)
There are also some mega-sites which provide links to all different stores on-line (www.maternitymall.com), but I found them too slow for my computers. :-( Also, look for the brand name stuff (like Japanese Weekend) at other company sites and consignment stores in your area – you may find the same items for slightly less money.
Shoes
Since I love shoes so much I wouldn’t even want to count how many pairs of shoes I own (some people still call me Imelda on occasion), I was extremely dismayed to learn that I couldn’t wear many of my high heeled pumps and boots while pregnant. Of course, as my posture changed, and the effects on my aching legs and back became more pronounced, I understood why I couldn’t wear them, but I was still disappointed. However, I bought two simple pairs of very low heeled shoes (brown and black) one-half size larger than usual to wear throughout the pregnancy. And I wore them every day. Since I was one of the lucky few whose feet did not permanently expand with pregnancy, I am back into my high heels now, but I suggest having at least one pair of low, comfy, larger shoes for your swollen feet.
Bras
Yes, you will need bigger bras, or you will eventually destroy your old ones as you morph into mommy. As I am not an expert in this area, I suggest that you simply go shopping at some point in the second trimester and purchase a few slightly roomier bras. They don’t need to be expensive or pretty, but should be comfortable with good support. Your rib cage will also expand, so don’t just get a bigger cup size. Don’t bother even looking at nursing bras until your last month. They’re not exceptionally comfortable, and you won’t want to wear them until you have to. Most likely, your size will change just after the baby is born and your milk comes in, so wait until then to buy more than one or two.
P.S. Nursing Clothes
For nursing clothes, you don’t really need to buy “nursing clothes.” There are some decent nursing clothes out there these days, but I still prefer a shirt or sweater I can lift up or simply unbutton from the bottom.
If you want a few pieces that you can wear in public with minimum exposure, or need a nursing outfit for a special occasion, check these out:
www.onehotmama.com (loved the quality and fit of the items I bought here)
www.motherwear.com
Introduction
This project began as a series of e-mails, then documents, that I created to pass on unsolicited - or sometimes solicited - advice to pregnant friends. Each addressed a different topic which ranged from pregnancy issues and questions to websites and product information - and each was based on my first-hand experience.
Well, those friends told two friends, who told two more friends, and so on, and so on. And people started asking when I was planning to publish it. So here it is, for all the world to read.
Well, those friends told two friends, who told two more friends, and so on, and so on. And people started asking when I was planning to publish it. So here it is, for all the world to read.
